Here I Am, Send Me.

Do you ever feel like something is about to come your way, but you have no idea what direction it'll come from, what it'll be, and when? That's where I'm at right now. The closer I grow to God, the stronger this desire gets. I tend to daydream a lot, therefore I daydream the desires inside of me. I imagine myself being a part of a group, serving God. Being around other Christians who genuinely want to seek more of God and serve Him. I have come to the point where I feel like I'm standing here saying to God, "Here I am, send me!"

I've overcome so much in exactly one month. The desires I had beforehand have somewhat "muted," in which I don't hear that as loudly as I hear these stronger desires. I want to serve God with others. I want to be a part of something. I want to belong somewhere. But the interesting part of that is I do not feel it is here, in my hometown. I feel like God is calling me to somewhere, but I just don't know where yet. For the first time ever, I've felt so drawn to the idea of going on a missions trip. Every time I hear someone else mention it, or have gone before, I think to myself, 'That would be amazing.' They always come back so moved by God, so amazed. I want that to be me!

I know God could do anything at this point. Perhaps He's purposely prepared me for this. I want God to be on my mind nonstop because He is unchanging, and gracious. I don't want to ask for a relationship, for my future husband. I want that to be left in God's hands and I want to serve Him in the waiting. I have no reason to worry about that part of my life. I have no reason to desire that unless it'll bring glory to God. Yes, I do hope someday I can serve Him with a best friend, a man of God, but until that day comes, I want to get lost in God. It helps me stay content and takes away the worry.

During prayer I heard the words, ,"Wait. Wait on Me, child, and I will send you what I have for you. Wait." As I sat down, thinking it over and writing it down, I felt relieved. There is nothing I can or cannot do right now that will change the timing on God's promises and calling in my life. Therefore I have all the reason to just wait. He wants me to wait. This is a form of blind faith! Not knowing what's coming, but waiting for it as if I do know. It could be one day away, but I must wait. I mean, I heard the word "wait" three times, after all! You know God has seriously planned something when He asks you to wait!

My heart is valuable to Him. I know He has a place for me. I know He has plans for me. He already made those promises and He keeps them. I'm not going to guess. I'm going to wait. I'm going to worship and praise God during this time. And when He opens that door and says, "Stephanie, I want you to go here. This is what I have for you." I'm going to scream, "YES!" and I will go. The opportunity He may have for me could blow me away. It could be subtle. It could be unbelievable. It could be anything, really. And it could be anywhere. Either way, I am here, and I will go where He sends me.