Dear Dad.

Dear Dad,

Just last Sunday I read the words, "I miss my kids." And with full confidence I immediately replied, "I miss you too, Dad. Will see you again soon! :)" No response came after that and I continued about my day. It wasn't until Tuesday that I felt lost, distant, and broken. I had no idea why, I assumed it was my own inner feelings. But I felt like the sadness didn't fit well enough with those reasons. Why would I suddenly feel distant? After my third class of the day, I was done for a few hours on break. I saw messages on my phone from my sister asking me to pray for you because you went missing. I then got her voicemail that you were in the hospital and she was on her way to see you.

I immediately called her and the moment she answered I knew something was wrong by the way she cried my name. But her words made no sense to me. "Stephanie...dad passed away." I couldn't seem to register what she said. I questioned, "What?" thinking it makes absolutely no sense at all. I wish I could go back in time to the last time I saw you and tell you once again that I love you.

Dad, I have no idea why it was your time, it makes no sense to me. I feel like this is just pretend and that you'll be there coming over for food when I visit home. I'm trying to tell myself that it's okay, that God has you, but I didn't know I was ready to lose my daddy. :(

You believed in me though. You were happy for me. You loved me. You took care of me for years. You made me feel like the best piano player and photographer in the world. I want to go back in time and hear you say it all over again. I wish I was warned that this would happen, but I'll try not to think too hard on it. I'm not familiar with this pain. This is so very new to me. I need you, Dad... I need you to come see me and tell me how proud you are that I made it into a top university. That I'm going to one day work in movie production and tell the world my story. I want you to keep telling people how much you love me and my sister. Did you know you were going Home?

I don't like this at all.... I want you back so very much... Just to hear you tell me once again how much you love me... :'(

Sincerely,
Your youngest daughter.