God Alone.

This past week was interesting, to say the least. I spent three days dealing with fear, anxiety, and sadness. At first I couldn't figure out why, but as I dug deep, I discovered some wounds that needed healing again. The fear of rejection hit me all over again and I couldn't seem to find the strength to endure it. I got to a point where all I could pray to God was "Please rescue me." I cried realizing how so many things were bringing me down during my first semester at a University.

To add to it all, I eventually couldn't speak to anyone. I turned to music and nature which ended up pulling me out of the haze I was in. I started to feel like myself once more and reminded myself how much God is my comfort and the only Healer. I knew that He was preparing something huge for me once again and I felt like I was left in silence for three days, much like Jesus' death. Thinking of how human Jesus was and how even he cried out to God, "Why have you forsaken me?" despite the fact that He knew God would save Him. Why should I fear? Why should I even begin to doubt God will save me?

I finally escaped such attacks and looked back to see that God is who I needed. I knew I couldn't rely on people to save me, and in a sense it was as if God didn't even send me a human to help me. He was determined to be my everything in that moment so I could truly see the fear I let build up inside of me. I am so very thankful that He never gives up on me. I am so very thankful for the people He has given me here at APU nonetheless. I need not worry, doubt, or fear.

God has been teaching me that He alone is enough. When I feel alone, He is with me and He will find me. It feels good to overcome more of this fear. To be able to let love concur it. To add to it all, God gave me an affirmation that what I feared was false and that I really had no reason to fear it. It made me feel silly, but I was so thankful for the confirmation. I am becoming stronger. God is good. :)