My Hero.

Dearest Future Husband,

Sometimes I wonder if you're one of those struggling men, figuring out if you have what it takes. The more I read "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge, the more I wonder about you. I hope you know by now (or soon) that you do indeed have what it takes. You're a warrior. A fighter. A leader. I just know that you are because that's what I'm looking for. I observe the men in my life. I have a better understanding of not only what to look for, but what men are originally made for.

When you do come into focus in my life, I hope I can be the best ezer kenegdo you could have ever asked for. I admit that I ponder what it would be like for you to come along and prove to me why waiting was worth it. I'm finally okay with your absence because I've learned so much through it. I'm okay with it because I realized I was still in need of preparation. I think I'm finally to a point that I can actually accept that we have not collided. I'm not saying we haven't met though. I just haven't chosen you yet. I'm not entirely sure who you are to be but God is silent. My guess is that He is silent because it is not time.

One day I'm going to take a picture of you smiling with me in the shot and I'm going to cherish it. And that's what makes you worth this long, stretched out wait. The fact that you'll be someone I'll soon enough cherish daily. And I'll let you be that warrior, fighter, and hero in my life. I'll let you take us on adventures and I'll help you along the way in every way I can. I'll support you and your ideas and lift you up when you become doubtful. I won't be perfect, but I'll be in love with Someone who is. I won't always know what to say, but we'll believe in the One with all the answers. I simply pray that God is always in the center of our relationship.

I've learned all of this because of everything I've ever been through. God has given me a story to tell and I just cannot wait to add you into it. Someday our stories will become one and it genuinely excites me. I honestly cannot tell who you are, but I'm getting to know what my heart is longing for and what it needs. I need a hero in my life. So if Jesus has rescued me and made me feel beautiful, then I pray you are a reflection of Him. And that's what I will be looking for.

If I could say anything to you today, I would merely ask that you do not give up on waiting for me. I pray that you find your strength to endure. I pray that we will be ready soon. I pray that you will do all that you can to find your heart and understand what God made you to do. I pray you dream big dreams because soon enough I'll be by your side to find those dreams. I may have my own dreams, but you've always been by biggest one. I was made to be an ezer kenegdo. A helper. A lifesaver. A sidekick. And that's just what I'll be when you come.

Until then,
Your Future Wife

p.s.
I love you even now.