Finding My Place.

My mind has really been active since I returned home. But I've learned so much over the past few days and received so much motivation to get up and go. What has been my problem? What have I been suffering? What has kept me cooped up in a little town, feeling stuck? Why have I built up all these questions? Why have I felt so alone? Why have I lacked to take the proper leaps of faith to see what God can actually do with me? Has He been waiting on me this whole time?

And here are the answers. My problem has been the fact that I dream big and I'm surrounded by those who may not believe I can do it. My problem is that I have felt I received no help therefore I allowed time to pass and I shouldn't have. I have been suffering feeling stuck and useless, even though I believe I am not. I have multiple talents that I practice quite often, but no focus or specific goal in using them. What has kept me cooped up in a little town feeling stuck is my lack of flying. I've unknowingly tied myself down due to money, even though I have the faith to believe God can provide. I have built up all these questions because I have buried inside of me a yearning to be somewhere and I never fulfilled that desire. I have felt so alone because I had no one to surround myself with that had the same passion and desire and could not seem to reach out for help. I have lacked to take the proper leaps of faith to see what God can actually do with me because I became tied down with bondage that needed releasing.

I do believe God has been waiting on me and guided me to Southern California for a specific purpose so that I can come back home with the right knowledge that I, Stephanie Ann, am about to be taken in the direction God has because I now see exactly how strong my heart is and how eager it is to be placed in the proper location. I want to further God's Kingdom with my talents, and I always have dreamed that. I've changed the paths from nothing, to hopes, to England, to LA, and now to storytelling for God. I learned all over again how beautiful it would be to minister through my work, and my talents.

What has stopped me is something that I fully know cannot stop God. And that is money. Money has never been important to me, but it is what we need to get by sometimes (unfortunately). But why can't God provide that? What is too hard for God? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! He can do anything He desires to do, and it is yet another dream to see God do that for me. To see Him lift me up, pull me out of this hole, and take me PLACES I've never seen before, and to people that have that same driven passion to further His Kingdom as well.

So what did it take? It took leaving my hometown, being somewhere new, and meeting people who were a part of something to open my eyes that I, too, want that. I am so happy that God led me to buying that bus ticket, providing a place to stay, and means of transportation to drive myself to a little coffee shop and meet my newest inspiration. Someone that I can tell God has been working in and someone who has found his calling, his place. Someone who offered help with simple opinions and suggestions on what I should consider. And although I sat there so confused with what way to go, he definitely planted some sort of seed inside of me.

I could tell he had a massive amount of faith in all that he does because I knew that sort of behaviour. It's something I always had inside of me and something I want to use to get me to somewhere new. God led me to this particular human being for reasons I wouldn't have known. I still don't know the full reasons. But He brought me there, all the way down south, and made it possible. It was something I didn't normally do, yet neither did he. How God could bring two people together out of the blue for vast reasons leaves me in such awe. He has to have reason behind this all.

I am so thankful for what God has taught me and I want to make the first step onto my future. And maybe along the way God will still take me to England. Maybe He used that dream to lead me to here because it was all I needed. Suddenly I don't feel so alone anymore and I have received so much hope this year. My past is gone, my battle has been over, and I'm ready to find my place.