Hope.

I was feeling quite fragile today that I found myself curled up on the floor, crying out to God. Questioning Him, "Why is it so hard for me to overcome this? Why do I have to wonder about certain things? Why do I feel so unhappy here?" Feeling almost defeated, I allowed the crying to take place so I could simply just let it all out and feel God's comfort. I knew the things my heart was longing for and I knew why it was aching. I wanted to push those thoughts aside and feel okay. I wanted to take things lightly, never dig so deep, and just be content. Why must I intensely long for something that seems so hard to accomplish?

But then I imagine that the things I hope for and wait for are going to be worth the wait, and I shouldn't allow myself to doubt for a second on that. I know I can make it through. I should allow the glimpse of that possible future give me strength and hope, instead of spending time missing it. I should trust and believe that God has placed me on the right path, and that I am okay. These emotions will come and go, but God will stay the same. God's love will remain. His strength will always be there for me to borrow when I cannot develop my own.

I have become ready to move on. It may take even more time to get to that point, but I've started the process and began the determination. My mind is set on this idea as I move forward and plan it. God has my back. He is the Almighty, powerful and unchanging. He will never fail me, leave me, nor forsake me. All this waiting is going to make for a great reward. The glimpse I happily got to have has helped me prepare myself to accomplish these new goals. God can do anything He wants, and nothing is impossible with Him!

Concerning my future husband, I know God will guide me to him just the way He planned. I know He'll help prepare me as I wait. He'll hold me close when the desires become intense, and He'll protect that particular man as well. I want to be the best that I can be for him so that when our time comes, it's the most beautiful love story written by God, the Author of romance. I can make it because he is worth it. I know I'll love him all the days of my life and for all the twenty-two-years of waiting, he'll be worth every second of it. Until that day comes, I'll be waiting. May we someday, hopefully soon, be able to serve God together and make a difference. ♥