And just like that, you changed my world. I was going to consider walking away, moving on, and seeking that beauty in someone else and you hooked me. But how could I say no to you? I've followed your life for over two years and on that third year I knew leaving you behind was going to be the biggest and hardest task of my life yet. But you gathered me into your arms and you decided to hold me. You decided to face your fear and you chose me.
The days have gone by and I still can't fully believe it happened yet. I cannot believe you let your world know that you chose me. I stare at our picture one too many times asking myself, "Is this really real?" Do you even know how much you changed my world? Do you know how afraid I was to lose you again and to instead somehow receive you in an even closer manner?
And now we go about this new relationship, building it slowly but surely, and I keep missing you on the days we are apart. I want to know you more in this way, but we become so distant throughout the busy weekdays. I realize now that we are committing to put forth more effort than just friendship. We are committing to know each other at a deeper level and pay even closer attention. But in a sense it feels like we're too new at this, that you'll revert back to treating me as your friend, and that I'll be standing here alone half the time.
But I do have faith in us. I know I can do this and I know you can too. I know we can learn together and I know we can work to work it out.
Why would you have chosen to change my world knowing I would put my whole heart into it? Why else would you do it but to be loved by me? And through this, will you learn to love me? Will you see me for who I am, deep down inside? Will I be captivating and wonderful to you as time goes on? Will I get what I deserve, for the treasure God knows that I am? If you hold me now, will you keep holding on or will you let go?
I was willing to let you figure yourself out, figure out your feelings, figure out your intentions and desires... I was willing to let you do this before anyone else could ever know the decision we made. But you publicized our decision into a relationship and we've got everyone believing this is genuinely true. We've got friends and family supporting this decision and I have no desire to ever let them down. I want to know you more and hold you tighter than ever, but I'm still sitting here trying to figure out if you mean it completely or not.
I have hopes that you'll still fall in love with me now because it seems as though you're finally letting yourself explore that possible path. You make me feel comforted when you hold me and the warmth of your hand is now my favorite touch. You take it slow, and I wouldn't want it any other way, but it's hard for me not to continue to want more and more of your time and touch. This is so human of me, to want these things after such a long wait. And here you are, someone I can slowly call mine, and I'm still not used to it.
But it all happened. We talked, we debated, we discussed, we questioned--it all happened so quickly. You were standing there at my door and all doubt beamed through your eyes. Your words had no hope, your questions were hard to answer, and I couldn't stay there with you. I got up to run, I turned to escape that place, and you grabbed hold of my hand as if to say, "Wait!" And that love I still held for your very existence waited just for you.
And just like that, you changed my world. You gave me a chance to be loved in return.
