With Valentine's Day coming up, the one thing I dread most is the bitter comments from the single individuals. Not because I have any intention to look down on them, but I wish they would eliminate such negative thoughts toward a holiday. Some people look forward to the day and find it fun. But then there is that occasional, "This holiday makes me depressed. It's a commercial holiday." Whatever their complaint, it is my pet-peeve to hear it.
Now, I am not bitter in return for their negative behaviour. This is not even against anyone in particular. I merely dread the comments because I have this dire need to change their perspective and I am fully aware that I cannot. So it being out of my control means that I must just suffer hearing it and holding back from screaming, "WHERE IS YOUR LOVE!?"
You may be wondering what my opinion on the holiday is. I can most definitely testify that it can be enjoyed and I have been single my entire life. All 23 years of being alive, I've been picky enough to make it this far. Not because I desired singleness, but because I spent a nice amount of years distracted and emotionally abused. I'm finally starting to live and I'm finally starting to really like myself. I think it's necessary that I reached this point. But being single has its benefits. I can't say I've completely parted from my inner most desire of someday being married, but I definitely stopped crying over "not feeling special to someone." I've learned my worth is only found in Christ--and that's definitely more than I could have asked for.
I find Valentine's Day a nice little holiday where we can remember the importance of love. Not romantic love, but godly love. The love that DOES. Sure, romance is blasted all over advertisements and store products, but that doesn't mean it defines love. Love is still love, no matter how advertisements portray it, or how movies portray it. Love is still love and God is still the same. The love He desires us to give is still possible.
I like to see Valentine's Day cards, balloons, and chocolates along with couples giving gifts to each other around this time as something nice. I think to myself, "Someday I'll give the greatest gift to someone and make them feel special every day of the year, with the exception of more heart decorations on Valentine's Day." Because for now, I just have myself and if that is the case, I should find reason to enjoy it nonetheless. I'm still able to love my friends, my family, and the people that cross my path. There is nothing that says, "If you're single, hate everyone on Valentine's Day because you have no one to give balloons to." Why on earth would anyone want bitterness to eat at their heart and ruin their day? As easy as it is to become aware of your singleness on a day commercialized as "romantic love," don't give in. You'll only be hurting yourself.
The point of having a relationship is not to get something, but rather to give something. To take on the job of helping someone out and being by their side a little bit extra compared to just a friend. It's the opportunity to serve and love unconditionally. And as my psychology professor said, "Friendship is the best foundation for marriage. Not romance. Friendship." I fear that too many teens and young adults (and probably our elders beyond that) focus too much on the "romance." Feelings come and go, butterflies can die, and physical appearance can easily change. But the point isn't in finding someone to "complete you." I believe the point of a relationship is finding a true friend who you can eventually trust your entire life with. Someone you can uplift and grow with.
I could go on for ages about this topic, but I'd like to conclude to say that Valentine's Day and the month of February is just another day and month in the year to continue doing what you ought to be doing throughout the year anyway. To love nonetheless, give nonetheless, and encourage nonetheless. Be rid of any bitterness if you find yourself that way this coming Friday. Be happy for other people and encourage them. If you're single, surround yourself with friends and learn to love yourself just the way you are. :)
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